I carry your heart with me
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: Lily Moon does what she can to pretend. Lily Moon/Unnamed female, Lily Moon/Lavender Brown (one-sided)


**Title:** I carry your heart with me  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Pairing(s)/Character(s):** Lily Moon/unnamed female, Lily Moon/Lavender Brown (one-sided)  
 **Warnings:** None  
 **Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
 **Word Count:** 481  
 **Summary:** Lily Moon does what she can to pretend.  
 **Notes:** For those of who don't know, Lily Moon was sorted during Harry's year. Her house wasn't known, but it was known that she wasn't a Ravenclaw. For this story, I made her a Gryffindor.

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Competition:** Potions - Polyjuice Potion. Write a story where this potion is a main aspect of the story either by the effects, the potion itself, the ingredients, etc.

Prompts Used - 1. Character: Lily Moon / 2. Emotion: Sorry / 3. Color: Capri / 4. Animal: Dog / 5. Plant: Daisy / 6. Action: Cry / 7. Adjective: Finish / 8. Dialogue: "I can't do this anymore." / 9. I carry your heart with me - E. E. Cummings / 10. Sentence: I'm not saying I have a bad life, but if you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be a tragedy.

Extra Curricular Activity - Frog Choir - Prompts Used - 1. compare / 2. stimulating / 3. attempt / 4. wash / 5. woman / 6. serve / 7. twist / 8. pack / 9. love / 10. unique

 **LIFE Game Challenge:** Prompt Used - Insult

 **The "More than a Name" Challenge:** Character Used - Lily Moon

 **The 1991 Challenge:** Character Used - Lily Moon, Prompt Used - hurt

 **365 Days of Drabbles Challenge:** Prompt Used - Tingle

* * *

I'm not saying I have a bad life, but if you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be a tragedy. It's a story of unrequited love and what one desperate woman will do for some sense of happiness.

I lay on the Capri colored sheets and block everything out. The face that stares at me is one Lavender Black. She touches me, but it doesn't feel right. The woman isn't right with the way she touches me.

Lavender is unique and no one can get it right, especially if they don't know her. It really is an insult to even try, but I'm desperate.

I thought she would be enough to serve my fantasies. I could pretend it was Lavender, and my heart would no longer be broken; it would no longer hurt to breathe. But everything feels twisted, and it's all because of my attempt to trick my mind, albeit temporarily. Even my body is barely responding despite the fact that it's being expertly stimulated. Nothing can compare to Lavender's easy touch and playful nature.

My mind wanders as she touches me. I think about my dog; he's probably outside playing in the daisies. I think about things I have to do. I need to clean and go food shopping.

I feel the familiar tingle so I tune in to what's happening. Both of us finish at the same time, but it's empty.

"That was great," she says, and the fact that she enjoys herself makes everything even worse.

I sit up, suddenly sick of pretending this is something that it isn't. "I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. Please, pack up your things and go."

She looks at me with hurt in her eyes and the fact that it's Lavender's brown eyes shining with the pain, causes my heart to clench agonizingly. "Did I do something wrong?" she questions confusedly.

I shake my head. "Please, just go," I beg.

She stands up and suddenly she begins changing before my eyes, the Polyjuice potion wearing off. The dirty blonde hair becomes black, and I look away, the transformation painful for me. Once again, I remind myself that she was never Lavender, just a pale imitation.

"Go," I order.

I know she's hurt, and I feel sorry that I used her, but my own pain is more important, especially since she knew what she was getting into when she agreed to this farce of a relationship.

I stand up and go into the bathroom where I wash up. I wish I could wash away the stench of unrequited love, but it's not possible. And as the water runs cold, I kneel on the shower floor and cry, wishing for everything that I can never have. And I know I will forever carry her heart with me even though she'll never know the truth.


End file.
